It has been a while.
The last few weeks have been all consuming on so many levels. After the delay because of the curfew the family I live with finally held the engagement party for Shabir, the middle brother; and let me tell yi engagements are a huge affair in Kashmri. I mean a whole 2 days of preparation, eating, gift giving and dancing. The party went on until 4 am and it took me 2 days to fully recover. The party took place in their home and there must have been about 100 people passed through the door in one day.
The Kashmiris are great mutton lovers and of course the more mutton your serve your guest the better, right! So I am sorry to say but the day started with the slaughter of 4 sheep in the front yard. I was the only one that seemed to be bothered by this and took to saying mantra in the sheep ears as they feasted on their last supper of weeds and grass from the shabby lawn. Yes I am sure I looked pretty stupid doing that but hey I am sure there are lots of thing I do as a foreigner which people here think is crazy, so why not say mantras in the ear of a sheep on death row. Hillal or Kosher it is still killing and after seeing how those sheep were killed I am a swore veggie from hence forth. So after that 8am experience and a good few prayers to send those sheep into there next life, I must admit it was fascinating to see how every part of those sheep was turned into a meal. From lung stew, to spare ribs, mutton balls in yogurt, fried bits of something, kabads etc etc etc. mountains of meat was consumed but luckily there was stewed spinach as a side. I think that whole interesting yet awefull experinece will stay with me for ages.We humans can be barrbarick toward animals for the sake of our stomach. Anyway, to change the subject.....
The women at the party were all dressed up with glittery, embroidered silk punjabi suits, bejewelled headscarf with lacy trim and gold jewellery of all varieties from dangling earrings to rings and necklaces. I was under dressed for sure in my new green with gold embody long shirt, cream trousers and white headscarf. I made an effort to dress appropriately and I beleive it was appreciated.
What was also interesting was that the party was only for Shabir's family and the girl and her family were not present for the dancing at night time never. During the afternoon into the evening both families visited each other homes, had dinner, cake and tea and exchanged gifts and gold but the engaged couple were kept separate for each other. So many cultural difference and I was really an honour to be part of the whole event even if a lot of it did not make sense to me. ( My job was the video taker)
The best part of the day was the dancing at night-time which began around 12.30am. The women sang traditional Kashmir music and they were lead by two half men banged on tambourines and pottery drums These guys job was to get everyone to join in (in the video above Fayaz is borrowing the tambourine and giving the half man next to him a break from leading the singing). Half men? yes... in Kashmir culture gay men performers are invited to engagements and weddings to do the entertainment. These men wear make and have their hair long, some dress in woman's clothing while other just in fancy, colourful men's clothes. Anyway two half men came and they were just so fun. I just think it is great that in predominately Muslim culture, that guy men are perfectly socially acceptable and that this part of Kashmirs ancient culture is still alive and kicking. Everyone had so much fun and that was without any booze.
The last few weeks have been all consuming on so many levels. After the delay because of the curfew the family I live with finally held the engagement party for Shabir, the middle brother; and let me tell yi engagements are a huge affair in Kashmri. I mean a whole 2 days of preparation, eating, gift giving and dancing. The party went on until 4 am and it took me 2 days to fully recover. The party took place in their home and there must have been about 100 people passed through the door in one day.
The Kashmiris are great mutton lovers and of course the more mutton your serve your guest the better, right! So I am sorry to say but the day started with the slaughter of 4 sheep in the front yard. I was the only one that seemed to be bothered by this and took to saying mantra in the sheep ears as they feasted on their last supper of weeds and grass from the shabby lawn. Yes I am sure I looked pretty stupid doing that but hey I am sure there are lots of thing I do as a foreigner which people here think is crazy, so why not say mantras in the ear of a sheep on death row. Hillal or Kosher it is still killing and after seeing how those sheep were killed I am a swore veggie from hence forth. So after that 8am experience and a good few prayers to send those sheep into there next life, I must admit it was fascinating to see how every part of those sheep was turned into a meal. From lung stew, to spare ribs, mutton balls in yogurt, fried bits of something, kabads etc etc etc. mountains of meat was consumed but luckily there was stewed spinach as a side. I think that whole interesting yet awefull experinece will stay with me for ages.We humans can be barrbarick toward animals for the sake of our stomach. Anyway, to change the subject.....
The women at the party were all dressed up with glittery, embroidered silk punjabi suits, bejewelled headscarf with lacy trim and gold jewellery of all varieties from dangling earrings to rings and necklaces. I was under dressed for sure in my new green with gold embody long shirt, cream trousers and white headscarf. I made an effort to dress appropriately and I beleive it was appreciated.
What was also interesting was that the party was only for Shabir's family and the girl and her family were not present for the dancing at night time never. During the afternoon into the evening both families visited each other homes, had dinner, cake and tea and exchanged gifts and gold but the engaged couple were kept separate for each other. So many cultural difference and I was really an honour to be part of the whole event even if a lot of it did not make sense to me. ( My job was the video taker)
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| cooking the 4 sheep |
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| Mom all dressed up with Fayaz |
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| Shabir (in the purple suit) with his future brother-in-law |
The best part of the day was the dancing at night-time which began around 12.30am. The women sang traditional Kashmir music and they were lead by two half men banged on tambourines and pottery drums These guys job was to get everyone to join in (in the video above Fayaz is borrowing the tambourine and giving the half man next to him a break from leading the singing). Half men? yes... in Kashmir culture gay men performers are invited to engagements and weddings to do the entertainment. These men wear make and have their hair long, some dress in woman's clothing while other just in fancy, colourful men's clothes. Anyway two half men came and they were just so fun. I just think it is great that in predominately Muslim culture, that guy men are perfectly socially acceptable and that this part of Kashmirs ancient culture is still alive and kicking. Everyone had so much fun and that was without any booze.
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